What Santa’s tax returns would look like, according to H&R Block

For as long as children have dreamed about Santa Claus, they’ve also bombarded their parents with a flurry of questions about the magical man: How does he travel around the world in one night? If I stay up late enough, will I catch him? Does he really exist?

There are some questions, however, that perhaps no child has ever asked in history. For example, do Santa and Mrs. Claus file their taxes jointly or independently? Are reindeer dependents? And, can you claim a mileage deduction on a magic sleigh?

Nevertheless, if you’re a parent with an unusually finance-focused kid, H&R Block (HRB-0.53%) is here with the answers. The tax preparation company released Saint Nick’s tax returns, along with a quote attributed to the big man himself, in celebration of the holiday season and/or to promote their new AI Tax Assist feature.

“Ho, ho, ho! Filing my taxes has never been easier, thanks to H&R Block’s AI Tax Assist. The intuitive program and ability to ask real, conversational questions made filing as smooth as a sleigh ride on Christmas Eve,” a statement attributed to the centuries-old elf read. “H&R Block can handle my unique tax situation, they can handle anyone’s! Merry tax season to all, and to all a good refund!”

H&R Block posits that Santa would file independently from Mrs. Claus, to ensure that both receive their maximum refunds. Unfortunately for the Clauses, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, and the rest of the reindeer gang would not legally count as dependents — though he could potentially write off their food and supplies as a business expense.

Perhaps, Santa’s biggest burden comes from the gift tax – which requires taxpayers to report to the IRS if they distributed gifts valued at more than $17,000. For Saint Nick, who gives more gifts than anyone else, this could potentially be quite the financial burden.

And while you might’ve thought you were doing the man a favor by leaving out milk and cookies, it turns out that he’ll have to file 1099-NEC for special compensation in the form of midnight treats.

H&R Block isn’t the only business getting in on the holiday cheer in such an off-kilter way; the Claus family cabin was recently listed on Zillow, for $1.2 million. No word yet on what property taxes look like in the North Pole.