‘Emotionally daunting’: Thanksgiving feels different for those affected by Hurricane Helene

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Tucker Shelton grew up in Hendersonville, North Carolina, and then studied and taught yoga around the world – Italy, New Zealand, Thailand – which made him realize there was something special about life in the Blue Ridge Mountains.

“Being here feels like I’m being hugged by the trees and the mountains,” Shelton, 36, said. “People care about the town, the area they live in.”

That became even more apparent in late September when Hurricane Helene caused about $120,000 worth of damage to his property near Asheville. His neighbors used chainsaws to clear trees that had fallen on top of his car.

“I had not talked to any of these neighbors for the three years that I have lived there, so it’s really changed the community in a beautiful way and been a really good unifier,” said Shelton, who spent eight years renovating an RV that the storm demolished.

Tucker Shelton. Photograph: Tucker Shelton

That sort of optimism appears to be common among those whose lives were uprooted by the natural disaster.

As such, on the holiday dedicated to expressing gratitude – Thanksgiving – while essential items like food and water remain in short supply for some Helene survivors, their appreciation for those around them is bountiful.

“I’m not going to focus on the things that I have lost; I want to focus on the things that I have,” said Pramela Thiagesan, a mother of two who immigrated from Singapore and has lived in North Carolina for about a decade. “Helene has taught me that these things that I was afraid of losing, I could lose and be OK.”

Helene and shortly thereafter, Hurricane Milton, caused tens of billions of dollars in damage in the south-eastern United States and killed more than 250 people. Some survivors still do not have access to drinking water.

Thiagesan, a wellness coach of Indian descent, left Singapore because she never felt she belonged and saw America as a place where “people were respected for being who they were” and didn’t have “to conform to a limited set of check marks”, she said.

After 20 years in Wisconsin, she moved to North Carolina because she learned about the Appalachian Trail in National Geographic and figured if she wanted to walk the 2,200-mile route that cuts through the area, “I should live there.”

As the storm hit Swannanoa, Thiagesan, 47, was initially not alarmed. Aristan, her 14-year-old son, grabbed a wakeboard and started to ride the water. Not long after, water started to flood their home, causing its floors to buckle.

Thiagesan lost almost all her belongings. The only things that remained were stuff she would not have saved, like Halloween decorations. A neighbor offered to house Thiagesan and her children. Another resident learned about Thiagesan’s housing needs through social media and donated a camper, which will be the family’s temporary home.

Pramela Thiagesan and her son, Aristan. Photograph: Pramela Thiagesan

Sabra Stein met and helped Thiagesan through a non-profit and felt connected to her in part because both had worked as graphic designers. Stein invited Thiagesan’s family for Thanksgiving at her home atop a mountain in Swannanoa.

“I felt a strong pull to make this personal, to keep an eye on her,” Stein, a retired physician assistant, said.

Thiagesan plans to combine ingredients from her old and new homes in a dish: a cranberry chutney relish.

Asked whether she was looking forward to Thanksgiving, Thiagesan said: “I am looking forward to every day.”

‘You’re handing somebody a plate of food who has lost everything’

Fran Montgomery grew up riding horses, became a veterinary technician and always knew she wanted to end up on a farm, she said.

In 2018, she and her husband, Taylor, a chef, bought a 100-something-year-old farm about 15 minutes from downtown Asheville.

They started growing produce on a commercial scale; created a refuge for donkeys, goats and horses; and held sustainable farming educational and dining events.

Taylor guided groups around the property, showed them how to forage for food and then made lunch with the ingredients they discovered, said Montgomery, who met her husband while both were working at a country club and introduced him to her pet cow, Milly, on their first date.

Helene caused a creek along the property that is normally 2ft (0.6 meters) wide to spread out about 100ft. The couple lost all their crops, including a 2-acre (0.8-hectare) pumpkin field, a big revenue generator during the holiday season. People also started canceling events.

Fran and Taylor Montgomery. Photograph: Alexa Leahy

“We woke up and thought, well, we can sit around and cry because we have lost our ability to produce an income or we could do something proactive,” Montgomery said.

They have used their truck and trailer to transport food around the area and served more than 6,000 people, including hundreds at community meals in Spruce Pine and Swannanoa the week before Thanksgiving.

To fund the meals, they launched an initiative, the Appalachia Restore and Rescue Fund, and raised more than $23,000.

For the holiday, they brined and roasted turkeys and made stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potato and green bean casseroles, cranberry sauce, gravy, and pumpkin and pecan pies. They don’t get much sleep.

“Most people say, ‘Oh, you’re feeding people. It’s got to be such a great feeling,’ and it is. But at the same time, you’re handing somebody a plate of food who has lost everything. So then you drive home thinking, well, shoot, I get to go home to a warm house; they get to go sleep in a tent,” Montgomery said. “It has been a little bit of an emotionally daunting experience.”

‘Just be with what is in front of you’

Shelton, the yoga instructor, has only been able to cover a small portion of his losses. He received $750 from the Federal Emergency Management Agency, a standard initial payout to people affected by the hurricane. (Last week, Joe Biden requested that Congress provide $100bn for additional emergency disaster aid, some which would go to survivors.)

Shelton received about $14,000 from insurance and raised about $12,000 online.

He continued to live at the property by putting a tarp over the roof and cooking with a propane stove.

“This whole experience was an invitation to let go of all the worrying about the to-do list,” he said. “Just be away from all of that and just be with what is in front of you.”

On Thanksgiving, he plans to gather with family at his childhood home. And he says he’ll continue his daily habit of journaling three things for which he is grateful.

He does so because “the more gratitude we can hold, the more positive outlook we are going to have in our lives and the more good things are going to happen for us and for others around us”.

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